My U/S revealed an empty sac. I'm surprisingly calm for having received such news. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet...I don't know. I haven't spoken with the RE's office yet, but I am glad to have an answer and I am ready to move on. I hope that whatever the future brings...we are successful. It's time to focus on my family right now (daughter was diagnosed with autism on Wednesday) and move on with surrogacy when the time comes. I hope this pleasant mood I'm experiencing right now stays with me. Will update when I hear anything new.
And I am feeling pretty good about it. I have been having numerous pregnancy signs such as a horrible migraine headache yesterday, nauseousness, and I can't stand the smell of maple syrup - which only happens when I'm pregnant. I took another pregnancy test (silly, I know) and it said without a doubt - pregnant. In fact, the line showed up before the control line. But, I wonder if all of this could still happen with a blighted ovum??? I will pray again tonight that we see a heartbeat tomorrow. RE gave us a 50/50 chance which doesn't seem that good to me. My IF's don't seem to have a lot of faith, but I still do. If we don't see a baby in that sac tomorrow, I won't have a lot of faith left in my body.
I just want to note for records sake, that I had not one single pregnancy symptom when I had the miscarriage - ever. This pregnancy, whether successful or not, I have had nearly all the symptoms I had during my first surrogacy so...we'll see what happens!! I'll update tomorrow.
U/S revealed a sac. The tech could not see anything in it, but that's okay because it is still very early - I'm 5w3d today. So, of course, I go back on Monday for another U/S. If we see a heartbeat - fantastic, if not, we may have a blighted ovum. Please pray we see a heartbeat.....
I am still having cramping in my abdomen so I'm still praying that nothing goes wrong, but I feel somewhat safe saying it's not just a chemical pregnancy. Check this out... It's about darn time that my line became as dark as the control line. I can honestly say that I will be shocked if I go in for my U/S on Monday and she tells me positive news. Every night I have U/S dreams. Talk about time dragging on. It's one thing to have to wait until the beta (2WW) but it's another to have to wait for an U/S that will tell you whether or not you have a viable pregnancy. This is seriously killing me. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.
My beta number went up to 286 today. Still can't say I'm feeling great about it all. I've been having a very unusual somewhat crampy feeling in lower abdomen. No blood so that's good, but my fear is ectopic pregnancy. I have an U/S appointment on Monday 10/19 to see if this is a viable pregnancy. I'm hoping to make it that far this time considering we did not last time. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. It's not that I'm being pessimistic, I'm just trying to be realistic.
Well my beta jumped to 130 which nobody expected. I (of course) have to go back in on Monday for yet another beta. That might be the "make it or break it" beta. Of course we are hoping for it to continue to rise, but will not be shocked if it tumbles. Here's to the power of prayer!!
My hormones are getting the better of me today. I seriously feel like I could pull my hair out. I'm so mad, but I have nothing to really be mad at. Even though this pregnancy might not work out...I can tell I'm pregnant. I've had all the symptoms that I had with my first surrogacy. The little embryo in there right now must be struggling to survive. My pregnancy test was even darker today. I don't still hold a lot of hope for this pregnancy, but at least there is a teeny fighting chance. Will know more tomorrow.
Beta came back today - low at 48. Doesn't mean we're out, but doesn't look very promising either. Looks like another chemical pregnancy looming on the horizon for D&W. I feel like we just can't win. I thought for sure that the 3rd time would be a charm (not my third try, but theirs). Anyway, back to the lab on Saturday to see where the numbers are heading.
The same day as my last post, I got a positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately, while seeing that does make me happy, I can't seem to shake the feeling that it might be a chemical pregnancy. My tests don't appear to be getting any darker. Add that to the fact that my IF's have already had a chemical in the past. My beta is on Thursday, so I hope to have an idea of where we are heading. Saying prayers every night...
I have decided to take a break from all things surrogacy for a while. My beta is scheduled for Thursday, but I am expecting a negative beta. I know a miracle could still happen, but they simply don't happen to me - never have. I don't know where we will go from here...these 3 embryos we just transferred were D&W's last. I am extremely depressed right now - the hormones don't help and I still have to take them for another 4 days. I am more sad now than I was with the miscarriage because at least we could move on and quickly from that, but now any option we have will take quite a long time - if they decide to still work with me. I am now one step closer to looking like a surrogate that nobody wants to use - which has always been my biggest fear.
I honestly never thought I would end up here.......