Officially Retired

WOW! What a turn of events. I recently started a new job which was complicating my surrogacy plans. After speaking with someone from the agency, I decided to put my surrogacy plans on hold for one month. Well, on 4/3, I came home from work and felt like I already wanted to quit my job so I could pursue the surrogacy. I decided to take a pregnancy test to make sure everything could go as I'd hoped, but then everything came crashing down. The pregnancy test was a clear, without-a-doubt positive. After totally losing it and throwing a bit of a fit, I calmed down and let the news sink in.

Fast forward to yesterday, while at work I started cramping and bleeding. My mind went straight back to my last miscarriage as I though for sure that was what was happening. Today I went to the doctor during my lunch hour and he did a superfast U/S and low and behold, we saw a flicker of a heartbeat.

So... it looks like we are having one more baby for this family!

Birthday #3

Well, Mr. Grant turns 3 today! I really can't believe how fast time has gone by. I also can't believe that I'm embarking on my third journey. I didn't know if I would ever be back here...but here I am. I have to say I'm excited, just as I was in the past. It will be different this time because I am working, but I dislike my job so much that if it gets to be too much of a problem, I will quit. I know that things will take a long time, but I don't feel like I'm in a hurry this time. I haven't told D yet, but I do plan on doing that soon. I just have to get the guts to do it! As of right now, my only fears (so far) going into this journey are
1. telling D.
2. the thought of carrying more than one child (I hope to find someone who would like to transfer only one embryo, but I know that is rare).
3. the thought of having to have another c-section. I hope to have a v-bac, but don't even know if that's an option.
4. the fact that I may not have a journey that is ideal in my mind.

With that said, I'm more excited than fearful so I am looking forward to getting started!

Not Pregnant

Well, my tests were officially negative. I was sad, but in the end, it's what was right for us. We are moving on and no longer trying to get pregnant anymore. So wouldn't you know that right when I decide this...guess who calls? Growing Generations of course! Talk about perfect timing. If you would have asked me six months ago if I was done with surrogacy, I would have said yes, most likely. But I've changed my mind and jumping in with both feet. First, I will call D & W to let them know what my plans are. I know that they are happy with their two little bundles, but I also know that D is going to be jealous. He's told me more than once that he would be if I ever decided to do another journey. I hope he will be accepting and happy for another couple (or single) who may be blessed just as they were. After that...filling out the application again.

I'm starting to get excited and nothing has even happened yet! Here we go again!!

Babies Turn One!!!

Well, I honestly can't believe a year has already passed! The babies just turned one on Wednesday (the 18th) and it's amazing to me how far they've come. I'm very grateful that with them being born early, as of yet they haven't experienced negative outcomes. They are beautiful and Daddies are still super proud.











As for me...well I've been working full time (super hard when you haven't worked in five years!) and I know this isn't my dream job, but I'm trying to stick with it until it ends as it is a temporary position. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant with one last child of our own for about five months now...with no luck. I've even been to the doctor a couple of times. Well, finally after months of OPK testing and many tests later, I got a positive OPK last Friday (1/13/12). I will probably wait until Feb. 1 to take a pregnancy test. As it turns out, if I am NOT pregnant, we will not attempt anymore. I think that we both feel in our hearts that we will be at peace with moving on with our lives. But, with that being said, I really want to be pregnant again ;). So of course this may mean one last surrogacy journey!!! Stay tuned to see what is in the future, either way I am excited!

Retirement

I figure I owe it to anyone who may still possibly check this blog occasionally that I am (for now) a retired surrogate. I am not pursuing another journey now and have no plans to in the future. My husband and I are actively trying to have one last child of our own. We haven't had too much luck due to the fact that my cycle still has not resumed with any normalcy. We only plan to try getting pregnant for a few months at which point, if it hasn't happened, we plan to move on. Maybe I'll actually pursue a career, but who knows!? As I've said before, only time will tell what the future holds. As for surrogacy, I'm always happy to talk about it and answer any questions anyone may have. I'm focusing on supporting others rather than being in the action!

Wonderful Trip

My kids and I just got back late last night from our trip to NY/CT. We had a wonderful time. Being able to see the babies again was great...being able to see their daddies again was even better! The babies are now 5.5 months old and I think that was a great age to interact with and be around them. They are really happy, smiley babies which is just perfect!

We had a lot of fun going to the Central Park Zoo, eating at the restaurant Mars 2112, swimming at their pool in CT, and just hanging out and relaxing. D & W told me that they think they are done having children because they are so happy with the twins. D says that he would be so jealous if I ever did a surrogacy for someone else which leads me to my next thought.

If you haven't already gathered, by reading this blog, I am probably the most indecisive person in the world and so I know in my last post I said I was going to pursue another journey, but now I don't think that's the case anymore. I just don't think I have the energy and patience for another journey right now. Maybe if I didn't have to start from the very beginning, I would, but I am so content with what I have done up until now that I already feel like now would be a good time to quit...while I'm ahead! For some ladies, they just feel the urge to keep going (and some seem to have a hard time stopping altogether), but for me I just don't seem to have as strong a passion as I did in the beginning. There are times though, when I get a pang of jealousy when I hear about others highlights in their journeys. With that said, I am happy where I am right now and we'll see what the future has in store for me. I'm not getting any younger so who knows what will happen!

At Long Last...

I've finally come to a decision! I (or more like my husband and I) have decided we are done having kids and with that said, I think I may pursue one final surrogacy journey. I've put so much thought into all of this that it isn't even funny, but I'm happy and finally at peace with my decision. I'm not sure where I will go from here. I will talk with the twins daddies to see if they feel their family is complete - if not, I will do a sibling project and if so, then I will figure where to go from there. I'm in no hurry this time...not nearly as obsessed. I only even want to do this to have one last farewell pregnancy journey and of course, to try and help complete another family. I'm not sure if I will use the same agency that I have in the past...depending on who I'm doing it for and insurance issues, I may move on to another agency. We'll see! I don't feel rushed and I will try to take my time to do it right. Hopefully someone will even take me with delivering the twins at 34 weeks!