Sunday, February 7, 2010

Reference

The only reason I'm even posting right now is for reference just in case there is a next time. I shouldn't have, but I began testing 4.5dpt and every single test up through today has been negative. I am 8dpt today and finally told D this morning (he thought I hadn't tested until this morning). I haven't talked with him much so I really don't know his thoughts. I know that he almost kind of expected the bad news, but I know underneath it he was truly crushed.

I go in for beta on Tuesday at which point (I can't wait) I will stop meds (it just kills me to be doing them for no reason...but alas, I will continue to take them). I don't know where we will go from here. Our last 2 embryos didn't make it to freezing so there was a whopping $30,000 for nothing. I really hope that my IF's want to move on...WITH me. This whole experience has been so disheartening. I don't know what else to say. If we do this again, they will have to find another egg donor (third) and start this whole process from the beginning. I'm pretty certain they'll move on because they paid for the 3 transfer package (ideally in hopes for siblings), but we've already used 1 with no success so there are only 2 left.

Uuuugggghhh. Why?? And please don't say because they just aren't destined to have children!

4 comments:

MrsKnight said...

I think 8dpt is still too early to be sure hCG would be in the urine. Tuesday could still be a good day! Don't you think?

AnGèLe said...

Its still SOOOO very early to get a BFP!! Dont lose hope yet!!! Some women dont get a BFP at all! Wait for that beta! :)
My sister never even got a BFP on a HPT til she was 6 months along!!

jenicini said...

I hear you girl. The whole process is exhausting. Trying over and over again with negatives are heartbreaking. Still hanging on some hope for you though.

notminethistime said...

Don't give up hope yet! Sending positive thoughts your way.