Monday, June 23, 2008

The Big (and I mean BIG) results

Alright, so Friday came and went and I am just now writing my results. Let me first say that I have gone through every emotion possible. The results of the the U/S were not what I expected and I can't say I'm thrilled with the results. Okay, so of the 3 embryos we transferred, all 3 of them stuck. Therefore, for the time being, I am pregnant with triplets. Yes, I will admit I think that is pretty cool but, according to the agency I work with (and I knew this when I started) I am not allowed to carry more than 2 babies. And to top things off, my IP's only want 1 baby so yes, I am going to have to do the unthinkable and reduce. Unless I am blessed with a miracle, this is what is going to have to happen. It is unfortunate that I have to learn the hard way, but I would never take this path again. I still have another U/S on 7/3 and then another 2 weeks after that. Once that is done, I will be going back to LA between 12 and 15 weeks and we will see what happens from there.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Countdown is on!

Two more days until my U/S. I heard from B today and found out that they are flying in at 11:30am, the U/S is at 1pm, and they are flying back home (SF) at 4pm. I hate to say it but after reading a lot that has been posted on the SMO boards, it looks like this U/S might be pretty uneventful - especially since I don't even think I will be a full six weeks. Most other GS's say that they never saw a heartbeat at the 6-week U/S. I guess I would just hate for them to fly all the way out here for nothing. We'll see what happens and I'm hoping for the best. I will update as soon as I find out.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Early Signs

So I'm finally starting to feel some signs that I am pregnant and those are 1. very tired (actually extremely exhausted) and 2. very hormonal - almost like I am bipolar. One minute I'm okay and the next I am crying. At least I'm not sick - yet anyway. One week 'til the U/S. If time goes by as slow as it has been the last few weeks, I don't know how I am going to make it through this pregnancy. I'm actually pretty nervous about next week because I'm pretty sure I am carrying twins at this point. The problem is my IP's don't want more than one child. While I know it's not my place to say anything, the thought of reducing still makes me very sad. It is so hard for me to not think about this constantly. I haven't talked to them for a week and there is always the possibility they could change their mind... I know I shouldn't speculate about something that hasn't happened yet but it's hard.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Everything is Good

So that scare that I had yesterday, it really was just an upset stomach (thank God). I felt much better today. I talked to one of my friends today and she told me she thought she had a miscarriage on Memorial Day weekend. She said she began bleeding and then passed a large mass. Seeing that she is around 3 months, you can imagine she was very depressed - so she indulged in a whole bottle of wine (I'd have probably done the same). When she went to the Dr. that Tuesday, her baby was just fine. The thought was that maybe she was carrying twins and one didn't make it, although the U/S never revealed anything like that. I'm just relieved that the baby is okay.

On a lighter note, my backside still itches like crazy and I do have to do a shot tonight but I am hopeful that everything will heal soon. I don't expect anything really exciting to happen until next Friday when the U/S is scheduled. I haven't even spoken with B & B since last week sometime. I am beginning to get more and more tired - a symptom of the pregnancy? I hope so.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A Little Scare

So today I started getting this weird feeling in my stomach. It just felt like stomach cramps but throughout the day they were almost rhythmic. And the even weirder thing is that the cramps are the only symptom I've had today - nothing else. Well of course my mind started wandering and then I kind of started freaking out thinking maybe I was starting to have a miscarriage. I thought that there should be at least one other symptom if it was truly my stomach - right? Now at almost 8pm it's not as bad as it was earlier but I still worry a bit. I've had a miscarriage before and it hurt so bad that I had to go to the ER. That's what made me think those thoughts again. And I forgot to say that last night after a wonderfully healthy dinner of salmon and asparagus, I picked up shakes and onion rings from Sonic after my sewing class. It's only the second time I've eaten anything from there because it is probably the worst food you could possibly eat but whatever, learn from your mistakes.

I received my Prometrium today so no more Progesterone shots. Yea! I didn't know what I was going to do. My backside looks and feels like I have 20 mosquito bites on both sides. I still have to take the Estrogen shots but at least that is only every 3 days. 4 days until Lily's birthday and 10 more days until the U/S. I pray everything goes smoothly until then. I have been reading so many stories of unsuccessful transfers and chemical pregnancies, etc. that it definitely makes me nervous. I still don't feel pregnant but I have always been lucky like that.

Monday, June 9, 2008

In the Beginning...

So this whole journey started in December of 2007. I don't know what made me think that I wanted to become a surrogate, but once I got the idea into my mind, there was no changing it. I knew from the beginning, after doing a little research of course, that I was going to work with an agency. I would be too scared to do this thing by myself. So I began to look at all of the different agencies...there are many. So how do I know which is the right one? I filled out a couple of applications and kept doing more research. I found a surrogacy forum somewhere and one night I read about Growing Generations. I went to their website and read everything. They seemed to be very professional (most agencies did though), but there was one thing that stood out. This was the fact that maternity insurance is paid for. That really helped to make up my mind. I didn't know at the time, but my insurance policy through Kaiser did have a surrogacy exclusion. So I filled out the application on Dec. 14th and thus began my journey.I won't lie, it took my husband, Mark, some convincing.

After a lot of discussion, he was okay with it. Next, I had to tell my parents. I was worried about what they would think. Turns out they were very supportive...and everybody else has been also. Yea! Thanks everybody. So now begins the real application process. I had my telephone interview on Dec. 17, 07. That was easy, just answer more of the same questions as before. Then, after a lot of e-mails, gathering information, filling out paperwork, we received our intended parent profile on Feb. 6, 08. Not long after was our first trip out to LA for the screening process on Feb. 22, 08. This wasn't a very good trip because our flight out was delayed for at least 2 hours so we didn't arrive to our hotel until around 1am and to top it off, our room was right above a nightclub. In the morning, we woke to the loud sound of traffic on Sunset Blvd. So you can imagine we didn't get the best sleep. But whatever - we were in LA. The screening was talking to a psychologist and answering yet more of the same questions and taking the MMPI test which took like 2 hours or something crazy like that. (And just in case your wondering, no I don't have thoughts about killing people). Yeah, there were a lot of crazy questions like that. Anyway, after we were "cleared", it would be time for the match meeting.

The match meeting was scheduled for Mar. 21, 08. This trip was much better than our last. We met the intended parents (B & B) and they were wonderful. They treated us to a very fun day and the best part was that we got to go to the beach. I haven't been there in many years so it was great. Nevertheless, the match meeting went perfect. On the plane ride there I was soooo nervous but everything turned out better than I could have imagined. Now that we both decided to continue on, it would be time for the contract next. I began BCP's and then once the contract was signed, I went in for a baseline ultrasound and began injections!!! At first the injections were just every three days until right before the transfer when I started progesterone injections every day.

The transfer date was set for May 26th (Memorial Day). This time I went all by myself. I stayed in a magnificent hotel and waiting for me when I got there were 2 beers and a note that said these might be your last for awhile...enjoy. And I did, after dinner. The transfer was superfast, like 5 minutes. But then of course, I had to lay there for what seemed like forever while practically upside down. Whatever, this trip was great. After the transfer I got to lay in bed in my sweet hotel room and do whatever I wanted. I haven't been able to relax like that for what feels like almost three years (yes, since Evan was born). I have to admit though, by Tuesday I was ready to go home...and so I did. I was glad to see my kids, and they were glad to see me. Next comes the pregnancy test. That Friday I received a huge package from B & B and in the box was a smaller box containing 2 pregnancy tests (along with some other most wonderful gifts, thank you again!) Well you can only imagine what's going to happen with a girl who thinks she might be pregnant that has a box of pregnancy tests. So of course, I took one that night and what do you think? Negative of course. And while I was discouraged, I bought some more (not digital) the next day. I couldn't stand it and did another that afternoon and low and behold...a faint (really faint) line. Yea! I took the other one the following day and it was even more positive, see below.

So now that I know it's positive, I still have to wait for the true test on Jun. 5, 08. Okay, so I go take that test and then just wait, what's the big deal, I already know I'm pregnant! Hours later my case coordinator calls me and says congrats! your pregnant and your level was 180. Yea! again. A little later that afternoon, B calls and the only words I could hear out of the conversation were Sahakian, Carol and twins. Okay, what is that supposed to mean? That evening he called back and said that my levels were 484. What? And that I was most likely pregnant with twins. Whoa. We won't know anything until Jun. 20, 08 at 1pm which is when my ultrasound is scheduled.

Okay, so here we arrive to today, Jun 9, 08. This morning I called my Dr. (Dr. Sahakian back in LA) and told the nurse that my injection sites are red, a little swollen and itch like crazy. Now they are going to send oral pills to take instead of the daily progesterone injections - it appears I'm having a reaction to the progesterone. Another Yea! I didn't think I was going to be able to take it anymore.

That's it for "the beginning". Hopefully from here on out the posts will be short and sweet but I just had to play catch up. I will try to post as often as I can, as long as I have something interesting to say.