Second Trimester

Well, I made it, although I still have a long way to go. While I don't want to complain, not much about this pregnancy has been very good (at least so far). I just got over another stomach virus...I don't know what the heck, but I'm starting to wonder if being pregnant makes you super susceptible to all illnesses (or in my case the darn stomach bug). I'm fourteen weeks today and my heartburn is already incredible. I can't even imagine what it will be like toward the end. I'm now at that stage that I just look fat. Not many people know about this surrogacy and I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do after telling so many that I can't imagine having another kid and *bam* just like that I'm pregnant with twins!!! If I eat big meals, I feel so sick. Yet, it can be hard for me to make a good meal and only eat the portion size I feed my kids. Morning sickness is better, but not gone altogether. I still can't wait for the fall as I have never despised the heat and sun so much in my life.

My next appointment isn't for two weeks so not a whole lot of action going on. IF's are on vacation in California and when they get back to their house in Connecticut, they are going to get married there - this time having friends and family join them. Nevertheless, I'm not thinking it's likely that either will make it to this next appointment. They can't miss the next one though...it will be the anatomy scan, so the most exciting appointment of the pregnancy!

Great OB

I am thrilled about the new OB I saw today. He was recommended by 3 people and I was not disappointed at all. He was friendly...more like a friend than a doctor and he told me everything I wanted to hear - like as long as baby A cooperates, regardless of baby B, I can have a vaginal birth. That's fantastic news. Now so long as that baby cooperates!

IF's (at least one) will probably come out for the next appointment which will be a month from now. It looks like I'll be getting a lot of U/S's and I just pray everything goes smoothly.

I'm still feeling nauseous here and there and when I get exhausted, I get exhausted. But I feel fantastic today and hope it starts getting better every day. My hormones have calmed tremendously, although I still have my moments. To be honest, I haven't been thinking too much about this pregnancy because I'm too busy with back to school stuff and getting used to new schedules, and planning my son's birthday party, and praying for one more camping trip before this summer ends. Hopefully this will make the pregnancy go by much faster as well!

Feelings

Well, I still can't say much for my digestive system...something is seriously infecting it and just when I think I may have gotten rid of it, it hits me again and again. I was very sick last night, but I feel great this morning. I really think my mood will improve greatly once the morning sickness subsides for good.

I spoke with my IF this morning and he decided not to come to the first OB appointment which actually made me really happy. I just have so many things I need to speak with the OB about that I'd rather do in private, that this is the most comfortable route for me - I think he understands that now. We will speak again later, I hope that I didn't accidentally hurt his feelings or make him feel like he was unwelcome to come to the appointment, but we'll get it sorted out. I'm hoping to find out from the doctor what would be some key appointments that might be a bit more exciting for him/them to come to. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment.

I think my IF has resigned to the fact that he can't/doesn't have control over everything that happens from here on out. I just hope he trusts me enough to make that okay because we still have a long way to go!

Today, I feel better about everything and I hope that is just a sign of things to come. Also, I'm glad summer is almost over as I think the transition into fall will also make things a bit easier!

Update

Had final U/S today and all is good. Babies are measuring 4.0cm and 4.4cm. I have to say it was fun seeing the babies moving around in there. I'm still feeling sick at times, not all the time, but I sure can't wait for this part to be over. I made my first OB appt. today with a new doc that I was given 3 separate recommendations for (2 from surrogates), so I hope he's as great as they say. I stopped meds on Saturday and no migraines yet so that is a plus!

I've been really struggling with my emotions lately and I'm still praying that is has a lot to do with hormones which I hope will start leveling out. Without saying everything that I've been feeling, which I really don't think would be appropriate, I do want to say that I've been having mixed feelings about this journey. I've been questioning whether I'm making the right decision or not. I've been feeling a bit resentful of how ill I've been feeling and how it's affected my children and husband. I never felt this way for my last journey and I know it all seems a little late to be feeling this way now.

I'm feeling apprehensive as to what the future holds and I really hope this journey will have a good ending. I really hope that there will be no power struggles as this experience unfolds. Right now all I can do is hope for the best.