Thursday, September 23, 2010

18 Weeks

So here's me at 18 weeks.














Sometimes it's just best to leave the head out of the picture! At this point, I can't believe I'm only 18 weeks. I've seen other belly pics of those pregnant with twins and I have to say that I'm terrified. Not only are most bellies enormous, but I fear more and more every day that I'm not going to get out of this without stretch marks. I already can't eat much at any given time, which is hard for me because I hate leftovers, so if I make a good meal...I want to EAT it! None of this has stopped my weight though - I've already gained about 10 lbs. (yet another thing that scares me!)

I just have to say that this journey has really been nothing like the last one. I felt good last time and I really enjoyed the experience which was why I wanted to do it again. This time around, I can't put my finger on it, I just have not enjoyed much (if any) of this pregnancy. So far, my hormones have had a negative effect on my attitude and I've been a little depressed although I can't figure out why...it's just there! I think about last time and how I enjoyed the process as much as I could, but this time all I can think about is how I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I have to say it's frustrating, but there's not much I can do about it. I don't know if I ever want to be pregnant again. Oh well, I just try to deal with it the best I can...I know it won't be this way forever. I hope I never get the itch to get pregnant and do another journey because I don't think my husband will be on board. My IF's said they always wanted three children (they want at least one kid from the other father), but every time he tells me he says it would have to be right away because they're not getting any younger! Well 1. neither am I! but 2. I sure as hell don't want to get pregnant right away again! I want at least a year after having twins...you know???

Anyway enough of that. Two more weeks until the big U/S.

2 comments:

Kelly & Her Uterus said...

Are you talking about my photos??? LOL!

Missy Bowyer said...

I SOOO feel you. I am on my first surro journey and the ip's live in Norway. We have virtually no contact and I have felt very negative. I blog all the good feelings because they are ther but mostly I miss being with my kids and feeling good. I am also preg with two beans and I am 13 weeks. I have never had stretch marks and ike you, fear the worst. I will make sure to follow you and see how you're doing. Best wishes I knw you have a great heart, two is just hard..Thank God all the shots and hormone supps are over:)