Sweet Babies

Today my family (husband, son, daughter, mom and dad) and I had brunch with my IF's. It was wonderful! I went to the hospital and saw the babies for a few minutes and then we went out to eat. Afterwards we drove around downtown Denver and went to a skate park so my son could ride his skateboard for a few minutes. We then dropped them off at their hotel and we took a mini tour before seeing their room (a top floor suite) and hanging out for a few

Still no word as to when L&L will be released from the hospital. This morning I truly realized how much I am going to miss D&W when they go home! I am really hoping we will be able to make a trip out to CT this summer to visit.

Hormones are still wacky. There are times when I just feel like bursting out crying...and I really don't know why, but I also have my elated moments as well.

I have a two week PP checkup on Wed so I will be able to see the babies again and hopefully D and I will hang out for a bit. Here are a couple of pics from today :)

Feelings

Slowly but surely, I'm beginning to feel my post-partum emotions with guilt being the most prominent. I've read many times about surrogates feeling guilty when their surrobaby(ies) have to spend time in the NICU. Well, now I'm in that boat. I just never thought in a million years that this would happen to me...that I would give birth to premature babies. They were born at 34w5d. I thought they may spend a few days in there, but that's turning out not to be the case. They've been in the NICU and now graduate NICU for one week now. I just found out tonight that they may be in there for another 2-3 weeks! Because I keep hearing how healthy they are, it seems like a long time to have to spend in there.

W had to go home so he could get back to work so D is in the hospital by himself. While he has unlimited help from the doctors and nurses, it's just not the same...and I completely understand. I can't even go to the hospital to help him because I can't drive. I'm not stressing over this, I just wish that there were something I could do to help. I can't imagine being SO far from home for such a long time, all the while worrying about the health of your newborn babies.

I really hope that this is just one last bump in the road. Seriously...what a journey!

The Birth of Lily and Logan

As I said in my last post, on Tuesday I went in to the doctors for another cervical check. At that point I was dilated to a four, so I had made a little progress over the weekend. The doc said at that point that I wasn't going home and I had to go to the hospital to get monitored. If I was contracting then we would be having the babies that day and if I was not contracting then I would have to have an amnio to check for lung maturity and we would have the babies later that day or early the next. Before I went over to the hospital, I called around to find someone to go pick my kids up from school (thanks mom!) From the moment I woke up that morning until then I hadn't had one contraction. So I head over to the hospital and they get me all hooked up to the monitors and low and behold I start contracting...and won't stop. The last that she checked me I had progressed to a five. Doc said at this point that we were going back for a c-section. The c-section got bumped back to 2pm due to another lady needing a more urgent surgery. If that hadn't happened then D wouldn't have made it when he did.

This all happened so quickly that no one was even there with me. I texted my surro-friend Lisa because I knew she had twins right around the same time. She offered to come down and she was the one who was in the OR with me. She helped out more than she even knows!

While all of this was happening, D was still in Aspen, and wasn't scheduled to get back to Denver until about 3pm. Fortunately, he was able to get an earlier flight and thus he only missed the birth by a few min. W was still in New York and despite an ice storm and many cancelled flights, he made it to the hospital by about 8:30 that night.

We went back to the OR and I had a spinal. My BP dropped and I got kind of panicky, but then I was given something and felt kind of drugged. The c-section went very smoothly and at 2:37 Logan was born weighing 5lbs 4oz. Lily was born one minute later at 2:38 weighing 4lbs 12oz. Lisa took all pics so the guys would have something to see from the birth. I went into recovery and then D arrived to be with his babies!

Things have gone well from there on out. Recovery has been a bit difficult, but is going smoothly.The worst part (besides the pain) of having the c-section, was the horrible itching afterwards from the morphine in the spinal. I must have itched for nearly 48 hours. I wasn't able to hold the babies until Thursday, but it was great to be able to. The babies went into the NICU and are now in the graduate NICU. We are not sure when they will be released to go home, but they are healthy and that's what matters the most! Daddies are thrilled and loving every minute. They gave me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings...D said one for each baby!
My milk has started coming in today, I have used an ace bandage to wrap myself so I am a bit uncomfortable, but nothing I can't handle. I've been on pain meds since the beginning so I am doing okay. I will be released tomorrow and I am looking forward to going home - back to the real world again.

Babies are here!

I will post all about it when I feel a little better.

34 Weeks

We had our appointment yesterday along with another NST. Babies are doing great still. Baby A is head almost down, but not quite (if that makes any sense). Doc decided to check my cervix and I am dilated to a three so he wants me back on Tuesday morning to see if anything has changed. If any "progress" has been made, then I will be going in on Wednesday for a c-section. I have only had three contractions (that I've noticed) since Friday, so I don't think anything will happen next week. I'm pretty sure my body will wait another couple of weeks. Fortunately, D is headed up to Aspen for some skiing until Thursday so he won't be too far away...just in case!

I can't believe how close things are getting. I'm starting to lose my ankles and I've had to take off my wedding ring (well, I didn't have to, but it was a bit more comfortable). I'm sure it will all be worth it once these babies are here...it will be so exciting to see them. Oh and by the way, their names will be Lily and Logan :)

Trying So Hard

I am trying so hard to not complain. I'm also trying so hard to keep it together. I'm sick now, with a cold and cough. Not sleeping well anymore. I have NO energy - sometimes just standing makes me winded and my heart pound. The thought of holding on for another 3-4 weeks is almost more than I can bear. I am fully ready to be done. I just don't know how so many people do this all the time. I know it's mostly mental, but I guess I don't feel very strong mentally right now...

33 Weeks, NST today

I had my first NST today and I don't have much to say, but babies both look great, plenty of fluid, and I'm really not contracting. D is coming out next week for our appointment on the 14th at which point I will have another growth U/S and I believe another NST. I guess it's good that things are boring for the time being!

Oh Man...

I seriously feel like I'm going to explode. I really don't feel like I can make it another five weeks. And yet I have had NO signs of impending labor. AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!
Also, have I said how uncomfortable I am?