Slowly but surely, I'm beginning to feel my post-partum emotions with guilt being the most prominent. I've read many times about surrogates feeling guilty when their surrobaby(ies) have to spend time in the NICU. Well, now I'm in that boat. I just never thought in a million years that this would happen to me...that I would give birth to premature babies. They were born at 34w5d. I thought they may spend a few days in there, but that's turning out not to be the case. They've been in the NICU and now graduate NICU for one week now. I just found out tonight that they may be in there for another 2-3 weeks! Because I keep hearing how healthy they are, it seems like a long time to have to spend in there.
W had to go home so he could get back to work so D is in the hospital by himself. While he has unlimited help from the doctors and nurses, it's just not the same...and I completely understand. I can't even go to the hospital to help him because I can't drive. I'm not stressing over this, I just wish that there were something I could do to help. I can't imagine being SO far from home for such a long time, all the while worrying about the health of your newborn babies.
I really hope that this is just one last bump in the road. Seriously...what a journey!
It's All About the Timing
1 year ago