Sunday, February 6, 2011

Home At Last

Babies and daddies have finally made it home. The flight went off without a hitch, babies apparently didn't even make a peep. I wasn't able to say goodbye because they picked up Logan from the hospital and went straight to the airport. Even if they would have had time, I've got a cold so it wouldn't have worked anyway. It just makes me sad because I've now had three surrogate babies...none of which my kids have met. I don't even know if they fully understand what has happened. D said he didn't want a formal goodbye because then he would have gotten sad and cried. Well for me it was the other way around. Because I didn't get to say goodbye - I cried! There's a very real possibility I may never see them again. Oh well, I guess it comes with being a surrogate - you never know what's going to happen! I haven't seen my first surro baby since his birth and at this point I really don't expect to. I'm okay with it though.

In a way I am glad they are gone because it is easier for me to get through my day without thinking about them being here. I'm thinking that day by day the blues are getting less and less (at least I hope!) I'm really looking forward to summer, at which point I think most, if not all, saddness will be gone.

Originally my IF's said they wanted three children. At this point, two might very well be enough. I'd love to do another journey with them. My husband and I are debating whether or no to have another child of our own. This is proving to be the hardest decision I (we) have ever made. Fortunately, we have time to decide, but if we chose against it, there is no turning back. I know that I have at least one more pregnancy left in this body, I just don't know who it will be for!?!?!


Heidi said...

I am so glad you got all of that extra time with your IF's and the babies. I bet it made you feel so good to see the little family you helped create in action.

Its about a womb said...

Wow! What a great story. I just came across your blog. Hope yo don't mind. I think you have done the most amazing thing and I dreaming of being you in the near future. I am in the process of becoming a surrogate for the first time. We just started testing and I already have a family.

If you have any advise I would love to hear?


MrsKnight said...

Don't be sad! Get busy with a new project! :-)

I bred my rabbits, planted my garden, got drunk (a couple of times), started a small playgroup with some sweet moms, went to yoga once, got a mani/pedi....