Surprise

Today, as I was trying to take a nap (due to the lack of sleep from constant pumping), my doorbell rang. This is what I received when I opened the door.

This was from my wonderful agency (Growing Generations). That really made my day.

On a different note, last night I was on SMO and I found a post about feelings after giving birth and a very experienced surrogate posted an answer to her question that stated EXACTLY how I feel. This is what she said:

"For me days 3 to 21 postpartum were the hardest. It's a combo of sadness and a "what do I do now?" feeling. Pregnancy/surrogacy has consumed your life for a year and it's hard to remember what you thought of and how you spent you time before. For me, at about 3 months postpartum I really am back to "myself". Between the 3 weeks and 3 months there were good days and bad days but more good than bad.

I have found that both times I'm almost desperate to get another journey going in the first few months postpartum. I would fight against that if I was you. For me, its like I'm trying to start another to fill the hole of time from the previous being over."

I can't wait until I get to that point of being completely "myself" again.

On the pumping front, I started taking supplements today: Fenugreek and Marshmallow root. We'll see how it works. I've decided that I'm going to keep pumping like I am for one more week and if by then I am not producing ounces every time I pump then I will retire my (brand new) pump. I am crossing my fingers.